Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Two Sides to Every Coin

Since Jeff’s death, living & traveling alone (well, even before actually), I’ve had lots of time for me, myself, & I to think about (& discuss) lots of different things. Regrets – gotta few. Should have noticed that – some of those too. Oh how I miss Jeff – sometimes. And then there are those isn’t this fun making all the decisions by myself without a conversation first times – enough to feel slightly guilty. I cycle from MAD (why didn’t you change, how could you leave me, etc) to GLAD (the space & freedom, less stress, worry, & expenses, etc) to SAD (no best friend, trusted traveling companion, laughter or snuggles) to settle at FORGIVENESS (Jeff did the best he could, like everyone else does) & THANKFULNESS (for all Jeff taught me, his near unconditional love for me, & living with my best friend for 20 years). But the bottom line is that the number of seemingly opposite things, ideas, or choices, turn out to simply be two sides of the exact same coin.

For instance, full timing in a small travel trailer. On one hand, not having a permanent, sticks & bricks home is a horrifying idea to some people (well, most people probably) – but the reality of having LOTS less stress, worry, & expense is fantastic. The adventure & excitement too see new & exciting places & meet new, fantastic people. And there’s the ease of taking our little egg (so lightweight it follows effortlessly on even the roughest trail) to smaller campsites (often amongst trees) where bigger rigs can’t (or shouldn’t) go. And the living alone thing – the trailer seems twice as big with just me, everything in the frig is mine, room for all my clothes in the closet. But that mess & that dirt – it’s all mine too. See what I mean about the two sides?

Then there’s the small living area – too crowded for most people to wrap their minds around. But. . .there’s that other side. We’ve tried to follow the weather that was most comfortable to enjoy outside. We’ve had some very BIG backyards. And I actually enjoy being a minimalist. I can’t make a new mess until I’ve cleaned up the previous one (keeps me disciplined). And it’s totally altered my shopping habits forever – no room for more clothes or that cute little dust catcher or multi items cause they’re on sale – small, lightweight, digital & multi-functional when possible.

I have been called lazy occasionally, but that flip side is that I’m also VERY efficient. I don’t waste time, money, or effort (mine or anyone else’s) if I have a choice. See: small space – easy house cleaning. I don’t really enjoy cooking – makes it much easier to eat light or skip a meal. Less clean-up too.
So basically, the world seems to be divided up into these two-sided coins everywhere I look, all just waiting for each person to view them according to their own perspective. And that, to me, is simply what life is all about. Each person sees their reality according to their past experiences or present circumstances.

My underlying perspective on my life shifted suddenly in 2009 with a diagnosis of breast cancer. That was my epiphany moment. Anything can happen in a nanosecond that turns your world inside out (like death of a spouse), & no amount of controlling can alter it. I had to accept what is & adjust my perspective of a new reality in order to not just survive it but to figure out a way to actually thrive because of it.

Have you ever noticed how some people with very little material or expensive possessions really seem to be the happiest? Or how someone who has endured years of various losses (physical or emotional) seems to be the most willing to help others? And if you’ve ever had or known of a cat or dog with a disability (diabetes, amputation, blindness, deafness, heart problems), they NEVER feel sorry for themselves because they don’t have expectations for their lives. Oh, there are those two-sided coins again.

No one lives forever (who would really want to?) but some people just seem to lead a charmed life – nothing bad ever happens to them. I fear those are the ones tho who won’t have the knowledge, strength, or perspective to go on when their cozy, comfortable rug is suddenly & unceremoniously pulled out from under them. Somehow I have always seemed to land on my feet during decades past when bad things happened (some a result of my own bad choices), & it’s more important than ever to feel ever so grateful (on a daily basis) that I’ve managed to find ways of continuing to enjoy living. Yeah, stubbornness or hardheadedness isn’t always a bad thing – flip side is determination or rising to a challenge. (Coins!!)

In fact, I’ve occasionally been called that bad word starting with a B (think female dog) to which I usually say ‘thank you’ because. . .it took me many years to learn how to stick up for myself. And now just because someone doesn’t appreciate that. . .well, assertiveness, that’s just their problem more than mine. {two sides again}

After a couple of weeks hanging out in the desert around Quartzsite AZ, I’m sort of (well, not too realistically) thinking I should be spending the winter in some warmer state east of AZ since it was 27° outside my trailer this morning just before dawn. Oh but wait . . .that other side means it’s WAY too cold for any snakes to be out! Yeah.

So the next time you feel like you don’t have any choices left & your world is crumbling down around your shoulders (or maybe just turning various shades of green mold), consider just which side of that particular coin you want to look at. PERSPECTIVE. Since change is the only constant in life & the only things you can really count on NOT changing are death & taxes, get your priorities in order & go chase your dreams NOW (while you can).


  1. Good post. Hope to see you sometime next month.

  2. Wow Glenda, so introspective of ones self and perhaps ourselves as readers. Your posts are interesting to read. Life is much more than seeing and exploring - it is seeing and exploring ourselves as we mature and events happen in our lives.

    And, hey it is cold over here too. No snow - yet.

  3. Hi Glenda, wow, beautifully and accurately stated! So many life lessons right there in black and white. As a fellow solo Casitian ( is that a word?) I get it on so many of your points.
    It was really nice to meet up. Hope to visit with you again soon.

  4. Great post, Glenda! Reminds me of your writings back in 2011.

  5. Great post, Glenda. Two sides to everything. Thank you for sharing; and, keep on keeping on. Sometimes it is so hard to do. It's definitely cold outside!

  6. Great post Glenda, Change happens for each of us in so many ways. We can spend precious time with regrets, guilt, or in my case what should have beens. They are all so wasted as an alternative to living what is. Thank-you for the reminder that hanging out on wasted emotions takes the place of today's joy. Your courage to explore those emotions not only in your daily walk AND the blog is courageous and amazing. I'm glad to be along for the ride. Peace out!!

  7. So thoughtful. Glad you're doing so well.

  8. Well said! Day by Day, Glenda...

  9. So glad to have met you Glenda. A post worth reading for sure. Look forward to seeing you on the road again sometime.


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